Comparing myself to others...

So check this out - I consider myself a runner! At around this time last year, a friend and I decided to go for a run together. She said she needed me for external motivation (i.e. the just get-out-there-and-just-do-it factor) and I let her know that I needed her for all kinds of motivation. I knew I couldn't become a runner alone. I've always been a person that functions heavily on the encouragement and affirmations of others. That's not something I'm particularly very proud of, but that's part of the abc's of me.

Anyway, it's been about a year since we first started running, and I just have to admit that I've come a long way! I'm able to carry on half a conversation now while we are trotting along - my lungs and chest aren't sore the next day. My legs feel great after a long run, and I even consider a good run to be a sleeping aid now.

When we got our new dog in July, my training was automatically bumped up a notch. Because of the type of dog she is, she requires two walks daily... if we don't allow her to expel her energy on a walk, she'll show us her bad side; chewing toys, eating out of the kitchen sink (eew, right?), and just being hyper with pent up energy. So, upon the purchase of Annie, husby and I decided that we owe it to her to get her out and about at least twice a day, ideally for 30 minutes or more each time.

This has vastly improved my training. Not only am I hitting the streets every evening with either a run or a walk, but I have been pulling a 40 pound hunting dog along. My arms are toned, my pace is a bit faster, and my agility has vastly improved. Annie is a very strong dog, and one sniff of a kitty cat or bullfrog sends her flying in an unpredictable direction. When traveling at a 12 minute mile pace, balance can be very difficult to maintain on the city streets when running with Annie. But it's enjoyable, to say the least.

Okay, but none of that is the point of this post. I'm writing to admit that I have a horrible habit of comparing myself to other people I know who are runners. And when I do this? I feel like a miserable failure! Now, I know that this is not fair to myself; I should base my goals and sense of achievements on my own personal fitness. Logic tells me that comparing myself to others will always be futile. But, hear me out.

There are five people that come to mind when I think of other runners that I personally know. All of them are way better than me. I don't say that with a tone of self-pity or anything like that. I'm not seeking any sympathy. I'm just trying to figure out how I can stop comparing my running to theirs and instead step up my game to become a better runner so that I can feel like I'm in the same league as these peers of mine.

First of all, there's V. V is my running buddy, and I'd be 50 pounds heavier, a lot lazier, and way more miserable right now if it wasn't for her. She's inspiring and fun. We talk a lot while running, which helps the runs go by fast... but then by the end of the run, I always wish we could go further so that we can continue to carry on our conversations. V is recovering from a foot injury which took her out of running for almost the whole summer. I trained without her for a few weeks, but missed her every step of the way. Having to run without her taught me two important things, though, both of which are very important: 1) Annie is fun to run with, as long as it's just me and Annie and 2) I can do it without V. I don't want to, but I can. I can get my butt out there and run, even if she is out with an injury.

V, however, is a wonderful racer. She trains at a slow pace with me (I often feel like I'm holding her back) but when it's race day, she goes all out. My very first 5K was her second or third one, and I remember being awed by her finish time. I've had three other 5K's since then, and I am still 5 minutes behind the time she set at that groundhog run. V assures me that her finish time doesn't matter a bit - that it's about starting and finishing and feeling good about participating. But, still? To be able to run that much better would be way fun, in my opinion.
______
Ok, and then there's another V. This V is a friend of mine that I've gotten to know over chats about running and fitness. She's a very energetic, vibrant, happy person. Her first 5K was at the beginning of the summer, and I think she ran at the same pace I do. I saw her at our next 5K and we high-fived, bumped elbows, talked fitness and all that stuff - and then I found out that she ran a whole 8 or 9 minutes faster than I did! While I wasn't proud and happy of my finish time being at around 40 minutes, I was certainly excited to say I ran and finished. But, V finished in 35 minutes, and it was only her second 5K, (my third or fourth one.) Worse still, she says shes doesn't run the whole thing - that she walks parts of it. How the heck does someone finish with that kind of time, and only run PARTS of it? I'd be ecstatic to have a finish time like that! In fact, I decided at the beginning of this year that my goal for 2009 would be to run a 5K with a finish time of 35 minutes or less.
______
Then there's S. I really do know better than to be comparing myself to S. S is a competitive runner, and she has training in track and field. She is fierce, and she knows it. She is also a marathoner - so, again, completely out of my league. But, she's still someone that I admire and I find inspiration from. I don't want to be like her, necessarily. Running competitively - as in, to get first place, has never been a goal of mine. But, to be fit and able to run well - to run quickly in a race - is something I want. I want the know-how. I want to learn more about good splits and competitive pacing. But, right now? I'm just out there to survive. I'm just happy I can finish. Someday, maybe I can finish a 5 or 10K and proudly post about my finish times without feeling like an old, fat tortoise. S blogs or facebook-posts about her finish time, complaining of a 30 minute 5K as if that's a terrible finish time.
______
Another friend of mine is B. B is also a marathoner, and trains seriously. She is tall and thin and gorgeous - and I believe that all of those things make her an exceptional runner. 5K's seem like a walk in the park to B. To me, just finishing a 5K is a huge feat! Whenever B kindly asks me how my training is going, I find myself locking up. I can't tell her how proud I am of my training, because I feel like it's silly - who gets all excited and worked up over a three mile run that takes an hour? LOL However, B is very encouraging and always telling me not to focus on my times, to just get out there and have fun. She reminds me that I'm in way better shape now than I was in before I became a "runner." But, still? To be able to participate in a marathon (of a half, for that matter) sounds like really something to be proud of.
______

So there you have it. Those are friends/acquaintances of mine that are runners. And, if you knew them and saw how they trained, how they raced, and read their running attitudes - you'd agree that I just shouldn't compare myself to them. But the thing is, I want to! I want to be able to compare my running to theirs!

I suppose it's just going to take more practice. More training. More discipline in endurance and speed. And maybe by this time next year, I'll be running marathons and 25 minute 5K's. LOL