All the small things

This little ditty has been circulating around in e-mail for who knows how long. I am very flattered that my uncle, who sent it to me, said that it sounds like something I would write. He's not a man of many words - everything he says is either funny or very meaningful.  Anyway, I did not write this but appreciate what it says... I've been at a place in my journey this past week where I find myself in prayer thanking God for life.  Whoever said, "It's the little things that count" might not have had any idea how huge that message is.



I AM THANKFUL:

FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION .

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE..

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL
BECAUSE  IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

Haiku

Missing co-worker
He passed away on Thursday
Waiting to hear more

Not a real close friend
but knew a lot about him
now wish we knew more

Emotions confused;
attending the services
is far from the end

The worst day

Yesterday was a very bad day.

I had been anticipating the day for a while because it was the first day of enrollment for the "new kid." The business is doing very well - all the kiddos are about the same age, ranging from 22 months old to 26 months old - with Julia as my assistant at her tender age of 4. But yesterday was going to be my first day with a FULL HOUSE - five 2 year olds and Julia. I was both nervous about it, and super excited about it - finally, we'd have enough kiddos to do some really fun things... like playing with the new parachute that I purchased a few weeks ago... like playing duck-duck-goose... like having a real full-on classroom. But still - who in their right minds looks forward to a day with five two year olds without a little bit of apprehension, right? :)

On Sunday night, while running, we ran into one of my newer charges who told me that she would not be bringing her son in on Monday because he'd been running a fever all weekend. I listened to her story, apologized for her son's illness, and went about my way praying for M's health while silently grumbling about how my first full day was going to have to be a first full day, minus one.

Little did I know this was the beginning.

You see, this boy who wasn't going to be here on Monday due to his weekend fever - well, his family is friends with ours and we spend quite a bit of time with them on a weekly basis. And, I come to find out late Monday morning that, whatever the boy had that induced a high fever over the weekend? Was now something that we've inadvertently shared with the rest of the kids who visit my house.

Ugh, my Monday was filled with irritated children, fevers, advil, tylenol, motrin, on and off napping, children refusing to eat, children not drinking anything, calls to parents, email conversations, worry, worry, prayer, worry, prayer and more prayer and worry.

I ended up sending two of the three kiddos home. All four of the toddlers that come here have the same virus. This plain ole S U C K S. I feel horrible that they're all sick. I feel terrible that they're miserable and suffering fevers. I feel worse that they all probably got sick from each other while in my care. Yesterday was by far the worst day I have ever had as a childcare provider. Sending children home one-by-one and communicating about the illness with all the parents is something I hope to never relive.

I'm so happy that it was just a fever virus, that there were no other symptoms to relate to it. Hopefully everybody will be able to snap out of this within the next day or two. I just keep praying for health and wellness. I'm taking every precaution I can think of to make sure this doesn't happen again any time soon... but no matter how well established our hand-washing routines are, no matter how much I sanitize toys, no matter how careful I am about spreading germs... when you get 2 or more kiddos together, sharing the same toys, the same furniture, the same space and air... a total wipeout virus like this one is still possible. Kids learn to share everything ...icky sicky germs included, like it or not.

Yesterday might have been my worst day so far, but that doesn't mean that today can't be our best. We'll take what we're given and make the most of it!

My favorite part

Every night when Julia goes to bed, she likes me to tuck her in first. We always start by telling each other what our favorite part of the day was. Often, Julia has more than one favorite part. After we talk about our faves, we say a prayer which includes a thank-you for the blessings of our day and a request for more "favorite parts" to come the next day.

My favorite part of the day usually has something to do with getting to know other people. This is weird for me. This is new to me. I'm liking this. It's humbling and scary, yet rich and meaningful. But, I've been honest with Julia every time... when I have the chance to connect with someone - on more than just a "hello!" on someone's facebook wall - it truly has been my favorite part of the day.

I've made more connections with people this summer than I have made with people throughout my entire adult life. Okay, that might be only half true, because many of the connections I'm considering were there already - but they've been just solidified, deepened, made important only more recently.

As always, my geeky nature is to hide behind my computer screen and manage my relationships over the internet. I'm great with words... if they're in writing. I'm able to be open and honest with someone ...if it's in writing. I can express many of my complex emotions, concerns, joys, and complications ...if it's in writing. In person, verbally? I'm a complete dork. I acknowledge that and embrace that and I've accepted that as a part of who I am.

But, this summer - I've stepped up my effort to get to know the people that I want to be around. Without question, my attendance at church and my involvement in Relay for Life have been helpful. But, I've decided to take it upon myself to crawl out of my comfortable little shell and start taking some risks. And the payoff? Has been astronomical.

I've learned three important things this summer:

1. One must take risks to reap rewards.
2. Everybody is a little bit dorky sometimes -it's not just me.
3. If I let God take control over my social life, and if I just quit worrying so much about myself - about how I appear to others, about how I sound when I'm talking, about how my house looks or how messy my car is when I give someone a ride... if I just let God do the work... then being sociable is a lot less stressful. In fact, it's joyous.

We hosted a bbq party this past weekend, and invited some friends that are important to us. We were so humbled and thankful for the turnout. We rekindled some missed friendships and strengthened some new friendships and are energized and inspired to continue to meet people we love and love the people we meet.

My favorite part of this summer has been making new friends, keeping old friends, and learning more about myself in the process. God is amazing - I need to just "let go" more often.

Birthday, Father's Day, Anniversary, Oh My!

June is always crazy. ALWAYS.

Usually it's Rich's birthday that kicks it all off on the 15th. Then, my dad and step-mom's wedding anniversary (which I always forget about until it's too late), then Father's Day, then our Anniversary. Closely following in the first two weeks of July we have Rich's mom, sister, and Aunt's birthdays. Plus, the fourth of July which (in years past) has included a cookout at our house.

I get dizzy just thinking about June!

But, it's been a fun one so far - that's for sure!

I didn't get much for Rich for his birthday. He's very hard to shop for because he usually gets what he wants when he wants it. That is to say, he usually doesn't want much - but when he finds something - some one thing - that he wants? He'll just go get it. So this year, I made him *not* get the wii game that he wanted so badly. I insisted that I get that for his birthday present, and then I made him wait until his birthday before he could actually have it. Bwahaha, I'm so mean. He liked it and it was a nice gift and all - but the guy is just so hard to surprise, so hard to shop for thoughtfully ya know?

He also hinted (or so I thought it was a hint) that he wanted a new watch. I figured that'd be a nice gift from the girls for Father's Day. So again - I told him forget about the watch, just let us get it for you for father's day. But then - no.... it had to be just the right watch. And of course? He found a great deal on the very one he wanted at Amazon. So, he got his watch - but when it came in the mail? I snatched it and hid it and vowed to keep it from him until Father's Day. Bwahahaha - seriously - at least he's getting what he wanted, so what if he had to pick it out himself? and pay for it himself? and have it sent to our house himself? If he wants it so bad, he can wait until a holiday to get it.

Yes, I'm an evil nazi wife that way. The guy is hard to shop for. I have to steal his things and give them back to him at the right time so that I feel like I'm thoughtfully gift-giving. Nice, right?

There's only been a few things I've wanted recently. I followed husby's lead and just got myself one of them - a new patio umbrella. We needed it anyway and it's going to be very nice to have for our big June bbq party in a week from now. I figured, if I want it? I should totally just buy it. After all - that's what he does.



The other night, I went downstairs to get something and saw a big box wrapped in pretty paper. Sheepishly, I asked Rich what it was - knowing full well it was a blender. And it was to be mine. Because I wanted it and because our anniversary was coming in just a couple of days. And I have been shopping for a good deal on a glass jar blender. And this box in his office? That was wrapped in gold/silver wrapping? All but had BLENDER written all over it.
So he gave it to me that night and said "Happy Anniversary."

I was very happy. I wanted it. I got it. I loved it. I immediately opened it and started reading the direction book thingy to find some new/different recipes. Then, I tossed it in the dishwasher and we went about our evening. I was happy - I was not expecting a gift at all since WE'D JUST BOUGHT A NEW GRILL FOR EACH OTHER FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY. I was thankful that I'd stopped at Target the other day to pick up a cheap/stupid gift for him. The guy is very hard to shop for (did I mention that yet?) so at least this cheap/stupid gift would be something I could give him on our Anniversary... it wasn't as good as my new glass jar blender, but it was something. After all, anything small should be a nice surprise and a token of thoughtfulness since we didn't plan to get each other anniversary gifts at all. Well, except for the NEW BBQ GRILL WE'D GOTTEN EACH OTHER AS AN ANNIVERSARY GIFT.

For Father's Day, we had the family over for smoked turkey. Rich wanted to try out the new charcoal BBQ GRILL THAT WE'D GOTTEN EACHOTHER AS AN ANNIVERSARY GIFT. I was more than happy to let him take the reins on feeding the whole family - and smoked turkey? That is a pathway right to my heart. YUM. The smoked turkey was awesome - the whole family raved about it. I was very impressed with my honey's skills - he was in the kitchen all morning with fresh lemons, garlic, onions and lots of spices. He was rinsing the bird and preparing the grill and he smoked that baby to perfection. Did I mention that it was succulent? Delish!! The BBQ GRILL THAT WAS OUR ANNIVERSARY GIFT to each other was a big hit.




After dinner, I spent the evening chatting it up with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law while the boys were playing the wii down in the living room. I told them about my new blender and how excited I was about it. And they ooh'd and ahh'd about it and it was fun. And then the company left, and I cleaned up after them, and went for a little bike ride to counteract the oversized servings of turkey and ice cream sundaes that I ate... and then I came home and poured myself a glass of wine and told hubby to join me on the deck for chit chat.

And he said no way, it was too hot out there, and I said whatever, and I went on the deck with my glass of wine and he followed close behind and then

And then?

I saw it! It was beautiful!!!



In the yard, in my very own backyard, was a self-standing hammock! All assembled and ready for my company. He surprised me and got the hammock a few weeks ago (despite the fact that we weren't supposed to exchange gifts since we got each other the NEW BBQ GRILL FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY.

But, there it was. And it was mine. It is mine. People like me don't own hammocks, ya know. We just dream about having one. But, I have one. Cuz my husby knew I wanted one and he shopped around for one and got one and had it delivered to his parents house so I wouldn't know about it and then his dad brought it over to our house while we were having our family bbq dinner and he assembled it in MY backyard while I was on my bikeride and it was there, for me!

Ahhh - my husby is the best y'all. Not just because of the hammock or the blender or the succulent turkey or all of that. But, because he loves me and he likes to surprise me and he pays attention to me, and he runs with me and he's funny and charming and quite dashing if I might say so myself. And we've been married for eight fabulous years. And I'm the luckiest girl in the world. And I'm gonna relish in my lucky'ness on my new hammock tonight after the sun goes down. And I hope my hubby is right next to me on that thing. Seriously. Cuz I need help getting in and out of it.

I guess I need a plan now. There are still 11 hours left of our Anniversary. I should plan some kind of great get-a-way. Find a babysitter. Plan a picnic or dinner and a movie or something. The pressure is on. I must find something special to do with my husby on this day. Not just because he surprised me with a hammock, but because he's mine of eight years now. And he made me feel really special and loved by surprising me so. And, heck - eight years? That's something, ya know. That's really something!

Haiku Party

Relay for Life soon
Soliciting Donations
Can't you spare a buck?

Lawn is freshly mowed
Weeds still overtake garden
No motivation

Glass of Reisling now
Enjoy 10 o'clock bedtime
Sleeping through the storms

Saturdays my fave
Not working for the weekend
Loving ALL the days

Julia rides bike
Rebecca uses potty
When did they grow up?

Where did today go
Bedtime creeps during blogging
Goodnight now, my friends

Demons be gone

I have this problem in my life that isn't so easy to explain in a blog post. But, suffice it to say that it has something to do with a certain relationship I have (or don't have) with someone who is supposed to be... oh, I dunno, like, MOTHERly to me.

And, well - every once in a while, this demon comes into my heart and makes me invent superficial solutions to all these problems I have.

If only I'd..... (fill in the blank)... is often how these evil dreams begin. And for some reason, every once in a while, I really start to believe in these solutions. And I start thinking that maybe I am the problem and that I need to think outside the box more. That maybe I should be more creative in my efforts to FIX everything. Maybe if only I'd..... (you get the idea)... well, then maybe this broken relationship would begin to mend itself.

But, I know better. I know this isn't so. I know that the problem is not ME. The storm in my heart is isolated and only gets worse when I let it. I know how to keep the wall cloud at bay. Why invite the funnel cloud when the hail and thunder is damaging enough.

This isn't supposed to be a dreary post. Instead, it's a post of celebration. Finally, after years of therapy (okay, blogging), I can hear the alarms go off. I can see the danger ahead. I can make my choice: Do I drive into it with hope and ideas and a bit of expectation, or do I turn away with grace and faith and forgiveness for what it hasn't even yet done?

Christ shall keep me centered. He is faithful beyond understanding.