The "C" Word

Cancer bursts my bubble.

Almost every single time I find myself surrounded by other people, another story of a cancer diagnosis is told. Whether it's in politics or Hollywood, someone's neighbor, teacher, or mom - cancer news will not escape us. I don't know about for you - for me? It's depressing and frustrating, annoying, and exasperating.

Cancer is one of those things that just gets my blood boiling. I don't know how else to describe it.

I often wish cancer was a BEING, like - outside the body. Something with horns and red eyes; something we could look right into and kick the crap out of. Like an angry bull, it could be something we could work together to destroy, to eliminate, to eradicate. Make it extinct. News of the past. ...Something our grand-kids could tell their grand-kids about and share the horror stories with eyes of pride because the family line survived the terror.

Cancer makes me sad and angry, and there are no other words than that to describe how I feel about it. Yet, those two words together don't do justice to the passion, or rather the FURY that I feel when I think about, pray about, try to understand the disease.

I am so incredibly blessed that cancer has not taken the life of any of my loved ones. My aunt is a breast cancer survivor, and because she caught it early and had a double mastectomy, she is a survivor of almost 8 years.

Cancer definitely gives us stories of hope and survivor-ship, and even miracles. I can't think of anything else positive that comes from the average cancer story. Granted - hope, faith, the will to fight, and yes - miracles - are big important deals. They are life changing, positive, and nothing short of amazing. I'm constantly in awe that survivors can find these qualities within themselves among the maddening diagnoses, the relentless appointments, the fear, and all the while facing the scary unknown.

I guess I need to focus on that instead of the fear, disappointment, frustration and anger that has been consuming my thoughts on cancer lately. I need to set aside my assumptions on the matter and focus more on the hope. I need to remember that the fight against this raging bull is not over - people like the ACS, and the NCI, people like you and me who donate money and time, people like caregivers and family members ...people all over the world... are still fighting.

I just wish the fight was over. I wish we could declare victory on our breasts, our prostates, our lungs, our blood, our brains, all the parts of the body that have been known to get "attacked." I wish we could raise our victory flags right now and be done with the ugly disease.


*Just to be clear, I have not been diagnosed with cancer. I have no close family members currently fighting the battle. These words, thoughts, and feelings come from experiences that affect me outside my family circle. ...Ya know, just in case I needed to clear that up for some reason. Though, really, the "C" word should still piss you off all the same.