The Power of Music

For the last week or so, I've been lost in my own thoughts and emotions.  I really related to this song:

Matthew West
Miscellaneous
The Turnaround
This rock is tied around my ankle
This thorn is buried in my skin
I wonder why I have to srtuggle
But then again
If I wasn't drowning I woundn't need you to save
And if I wasn't broken I wouldn't need you to heal me
You keep me broken

CHORUS:
Don't let this river get lost in the ocean
Don't let this rock take me down, down, down
My heart is standing at the edge of the world
I need you to help me make the turnaround

So many puzzles with no answers
So many questions with no peace
So many second guesses, but then again I guess
If I wasn't drowning I wouldn't need you to save me
If I wasn't broken I wouldn't need you to heal me
Oh Lord I'm drowning

REPEAT CHORUS

BRIDGE:
I need you
I know I need you

But, last night husby and I were talking about some stuff which seemed to help me turn myself around.  Without getting into the details, suffice it to say that I lost track of who my Father is.  After our conversation, Rich retreated to the office in the basement, where he likes to practice bass for the church band - and I planned to go read my book in bed. But, hearing his guitar - boom, boom, boom - playing to worship music struck me differently last night, and I felt compelled to join him in the office while he played. (That's something I need to do more often!)  At about that time, he started playing Throne of Grace. Throne of Grace is my favorite song.

Suddenly, and I do mean suddenly, it hit me.  All the questions I've been asking were the wrong ones.  All the things I'd been worrying about or lamenting over, were insignificant.  I cried as I listened to the lyrics last night:

Throne of Grace
Oh Lord, here I am now
Bowing humbly down before your throne of grace
I am in awe of your unmerited love
In spite of my sinful ways

Oh Lord, here I am still
Trembling and clinging to you – my strength & my shield
Oh Lord, I feel the pain – this wretched existence of sin
Is writhing within my soul

My Father, my Teacher, my Master,
The lifter of my trampled spirit
The Author of all that is righteous & holy
All praise & all glory to You, my sweet Savior
In You, sweet Lord Jesus I rest… I rest… I rest…

Oh my sweet Lord Jesus, Savior
Gave yourself & set me free
I lift up my voice & praise you
You are wor – thy - You are worthy, Lord

I hesitated to post this, for a couple reasons: First, I worry that this revelation will come across as another cheesy bible-beating thing to some of my readers. I can't possibly ask you to understand any of the emotions I felt as my husband played this song last night.  It wouldn't be fair to the moment if I tried.  And second, Throne of Grace is a compelling song - one that, for whatever reason, is hard to find on the internet.  I got the lyrics from my talented husband.  After I wrote my last post about this song, I got a few comments and a few other e-mails asking where I found it.  People have heard this song at their churches, but don't know where it came from.  With a bit of research (okay, I just emailed the band leader), I found that there is no information about the song available.  He said that he got the lyrics and chords to the song from another church, where he heard it.  And the music leader at that church didn't have information about the song, either.

It's wonderful that God uses music to speak to me.  It's even more wonderful that I worship at a church that plays that song regularly.  That song uplifted me and humbled me at the same time last night.  I went to bed praying prayers of humility and thanks.  I slept so well last night, and woke up happy today.  I have a new, different way to approach the situation that bothered me into a depression all week long.

God is good.