Praying

My long time friend (she was my best one for the bigger part of my adult life) died from cancer a year ago yesterday. I'm praying for her family, especially her husband who is now a widow at my age'ish.

A friend of mine lost her grandmother recently and is heartbroken. I pray for her and her entire family who lost a matriarch. 

A relative of mine owns a small business in this economy and would like to eat a square meal.  I'm praying for financial relief.... in some form or another.

My cousin just found out she has an aggressive brain cancer.  I'm praying for her, her family (including 3 kids), and myself, selfishly.

Another relative of mine is under the pressure of owning three homes - living in one money pit and in and out of renting away the other two money pits. I pray for the economy, for this relative's wisdom to know when/how to make financial decisions that will impact the rest of their life (financially anyway), and for the renters/buyers in the area.

A very good friend of mine is under the pressure of paying two mortgages after having to re-gain possession of their (old) house due to a rent-to-own deal gone bad. I pray for the family financially and for the market to turn around quickly.

A long time friend of mine has been unemployed for almost a year. I pray for him to regain hope, to find his passion and to be offered a position quickly.

Another great friend of mine is dealing with the pressures and emotions of divorce and separation.  I pray for her to find peace.  

One of my sweet under-5-years-old friends is helping his/her mom feel respected, loved, appreciated, and important as a single mother... especially when life gets in the way.  I pray for the child and the mother.

One of the people in my life who I highly respect and admire is due for another CT scan soon - to find out if the cancer has returned.  Whether it has or not, cancer has taken the life out of this friend. I pray.  

One of my friends just had surgery today to remove a tumor.  It's benign, but still scary.  And because of this surgery, the possibility of having more children has been taken away.  I pray for the whole family and for my friend's broken heart.

One of my newest friends just lost her job on Friday.  I don't know why/how, but I do know that it brings tears to his/her eyes to talk about it.  I pray for the family and for a new job.

...

I'm sure there are others I specifically should be praying for.  There are abundant blessings to be thankful for and I'm praising God for those things as well... 

Relationships

Relationships are a huge theme in my everyday life lately and I find myself struggling to keep up with my own thoughts. I am thinking about human emotions and the human mind too much, and it's spinning me in circles. But this kind of purposeful reflection is healthy, in my opinion, and that's why I feel the need to write about it.

Jesus spells out friendship clearly in John 15

¹²My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. ¹⁴You are my friends if you do what I command. ¹⁵I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 

We are made to have relationships, to build relationships, to work to keep relationships and to learn from relationships. But, as this scripture says, it's not just about having and maintaining a friendship that is relevant to His kingdom, but also the effort, commitment, dedication, loyalty, and true love that goes into a friendship. Jesus died on the cross because of His friendship with me. I must not forget this.  As relationships and friendships in my life evolve, grow, or (quite unfortunately) fade, I must remember to love first and foremost, as my Father loves me.


I've also been reflecting on Galatians 6:9-10 that says, "So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith."

I will strive to grow and learn from the friendships and relationships in my life, and at the same time, I will know that every joy, struggle, pain, or celebration that comes from that is a part of His work. It's not my doing. Relationship making, building and breaking is far too complex for my feeble mind, and I must be okay with this. This, for certain, is a growing pain for me - I need to remember that I'm not in control and that I should rejoice that the Lord is my provider. Therefore, there's no reason to give up - no good reason to quit doing good deeds, and at the same time I can be at peace with knowing that my faith in God alone will comfort me when there's an emotional shift in my world socially.


Romans 5:7-8 drives my point home. "Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." 

How blessed are we that we are not made to be alone.

Bucket List

Shamlessly stolen from one of the various blogs I creep upon while working surfing the net.  100 Things I would like to do before I kick the bucket:
 (in no particular order)

1. Publish a children's book.
2. Go to the taping of a funny sitcom in NY or CA
3. Watch the launch of a spacecraft
4. Sing karaoke in a public place without a care
5. Canoe or Kayak somewhere (anywhere?)
6. Take a hot air balloon ride
7. Ride in a helicopter
8. Snorkle in the ocean
9. Tour New York City
10. Be a missionary in an underdeveloped country
11. Go parasailing in Hawaii
12. Run a 10K
13. Walk (or run?) a marathon
14. Learn American Sign Language
15. Go on a cruise
16. Teach Kindergarten
17. Pay off the house
18. Manage a healthy weight under xxx pounds. (nonofyourbusiness)
19. Try a new fruit or veggie every day for one month.
20. Start a non-profit organization for a good cause.
21. Have/Make a friend that will sit with me on the front porch when I'm really old and senile.
22. Swim with dolphins
23. Learn to draw
24. Finish a scrapbook
25. Print pictures of the kids/events/milestones/vacations and file them chronologically
26. Help the BBF raise a million dollars (or more!) to give away
27. Own a preschool business (in a commercial building, not in my home, hehe!)
28. Ride a ferry
29. See a blimp up close
30. See Stonehedge
31. Renew marriage vows in Tahoe (maybe for 50th?)
32. Sleep by campfire without a tent/shelter (maybe on a hammock!?)
33. Place first, second or even third in a 5K
34. Memorize the books of the bible in order
35. Attend a Jewish wedding
36. Be a guest at a traditional Jewish Hannukah dinner on Passover
37. Provide respite care for a cancer patient or family member
38. Volunteer at a high school consistently
39. Design a state of the art playpark in a low income neighborhood
40. Revisit the area of San Isabel National Forest, where we got lost in the woods in August 2000.
41. Visit Bishop's Castle with my dad
42. Go sledding with the family in a secluded, perfect area
43. Make a quilt
44. Make a better quilt
45. Archive the lyrics to all the children's songs I know
46. Perform in a skit for a church/cause
47. Go to an opera
48. Go to a broadway play on Broadway
49. See the bar from Cheers on display in Los Angeles.
50. Take the kids ice skating on a lake
51. Have a garden on my property
52. Grow all my own veggies (cucumbers, tomatoes, lettuce, etc.)
53. Hike up Pikes Peak
54. Ride a train to (or from?) a vacation destination
55. Leave a $100+ tip at a diner/restaurant
56. Pay someone eles's mortgage for a year
57. Help build a house for habitat for humanity
58. Provide Christmas for a family in need (dinner, presents, clothes, a ride to church)
59. Teach a parenting class
60. Volunteer in a hospital (oncology if needed)
61. Have coffee/lunch with Matthew West
62. Spend 24 hours in pajamas as an adult and not care :)
63. Write an inspirational song
64. Babysit for single moms free of charge 
65. Buy groceries for the person in line behind me at the grocery store
66. Buy lunch for the person behind me in a drive thru
67. Ride along with a police officer on a night shift
68. Visit ground zero in NY
69. Collect the 50 quarters from all 50 states
70. Live a simple life with very few possessions
71. Witness a medically necessary surgery
72. Make a really good bottle of wine
73. Try a ropes course with husby
74. Drive a golf cart for golfers I know (or famous people!)
75. Write a bucket list!
76. Go white water rafting in the Rockies (again)
77. See my children grow up to be well rounded, responsible, successful adults
78. Go on a women's spiritual retreat
79. Lead a bible study
80. Do a touristy zip line in a rainforest or somewhere
81. Learn to ski
82. Get a masters degree in something unconventional (underwater basket weaving?)
83. Learn to knit a scarf for someone
84. Have a clutter free home (even before number 70 is achieved)
85. Complete a big jigsaw puzzle
86. Learn how to change the oil in my own vehicle (and become good at it)
87. Get pedicures with both my daughters
88. Give all homemade presents for Christmas one year
89. Write down something I'm thankful for every single day and then put them in a time capsule to open in 10 years.
90. Go tubing down a stream in the mountains (again - haven't done that one since early 90's!)
91. Donate my hair to Locks of Love
92. Speak Pig Latin with my kids in public 
93. Make a snow igloo in the backyard.
94. Learn to cook meals for other people (Frozen Stouffers Lasagna just isn't very ....heartwarming anymore)
95. Save Princess Peach (again) :)  - can never do that too many times!
96. Write a book filled with word plays. (I like throwing knives! I like throwing - knives.) I'madork
97. Keep a prayer journal
98. Fly a really cool/big kite with my kids at a park
99. Come up with two more things for this bucket list
100.   
101. 
     

Things that make you go &#^$%*

In no particular order, here are the top ten things that are pissing me off right now:

1. Taking the dog to the shelter because he's way too high maintenance for this house. (Good riddance Mr. Eko - sorry it didn't work out... blah).
2. Wanting a puppy so bad, but wanting to wait it out since the last two dogs were ...uh... not a good fit here.
3. Losing a best friend to cancer. $#@& Cancer.
4. Hearing that a friend of another best friend had bad news at her routine scan. #%#@%@
5. Losing a client, and possibly a friendship with it. ARGH
6. Losing friends over stupid stuff that should have been avoided. 
7. Reading rude comments about politics on a nicely written article that had nothing political to mention in it.
8. Rich must leave the state for mandatory work-related training and he'll be gone forever! (or 10 weeks, whatever).
9. Ants (especially in the kitchen)
10. Shocking news that a friend is getting divorced. SUCK ROCKS.

And now, in no particular order here ten things that I love love love love (because who wants to end on such a sour note?)

1. My church rocks. As well as the people who go there, too... of course. And when I think of my church, I also (inadvertently) think of the Brent Bays Foundation. Both are pretty rockin'.
2. My clients rock. Make new friends, but keep the old; some are silver and the others gold. I'm loving the new family - 3 girls that fit in perfectly around here. We are so blessed!
3. Julia is excelling in Kindergarten.  (I admit, it's pretty nice having her out of the house all day, too!)  I'm so glad that she loves to go there and wishes it was all seven days a week.
4. Rebecca is one of the most mature 3 year olds that I get to be with on a daily basis. And, she's not even 3 yet. :)  I'm lucky she's my kid!
5. My family is amazing. I'm talking about my dad and step-mom, my brother and nieces, my in-laws, and of course (and especially!) my husband and children.
6. Facebook gets me through the days.  When I only talk to children all day long everyday, I crave peer interactions. I love facebook for letting me "creep" on my friends' profiles and engaging in conversation when appropriate.
7. God is pretty rockin'.  A short month ago, I was wallowing in tears trying to understand what my future had in store for me. I thought I was supposed to get a "real" job. I thought maybe I was supposed to go back to school. I thought I had it all wrong and needed to change.  Turns out, if you're patient enough, he speaks very clearly....  I just needed to re-center! Thanks, God. I'd totally link to You if I knew how.
8. Big Brother.  I admit it - I'm a BB junkie. Gosh.  But, okay really? That and LOST are the only shows I ever watch. And LOST is over forever (sad!). So, is it so bad to enjoy me some trash tv for a few hours a week?  Seriously need a reason to dust off the old boob tube anyway. (I might cry when the season is over.)
9. Fall is near!  After weeks and weeks of 100+ temps, we had a cool day yesterday. High of 80 or something like that. I loved it! I love Fall. OMGOSH just thinking about Fall makes my tummy do happy flips. Love it! I love Fall!!  WHOOO HOOOOO    okay thanks :) 
10. I'm still running. I still enjoy it. I have found peace in running for pleasure. I'm happy that I'm not a competitive person...  and I'm happy to have finally realized that!  Yesterday, I ran about 5K and enjoyed the scenery and my private conversations with God during the solo run. Priceless!

Sweet Little Baby Jesus

Unfortunately, my sense of humor is not the best, and so I often disagree with the general public on things that are supposed to be pretty funny. Like, the "sweet little baby Jesus" prayer that was made so famous by the movie Talladega Nights. Everybody around me thinks that it's hilarious how the character of Ricky Bobby prays to "8 pound, 6 ounce baby Jesus" all the time, despite that Jesus did actually grow up and died as a full grown man.

Now, it's not that I'm offended by it at all. In fact, I think Will Ferrell is usually quite funny - I just don't see the humor behind these famous quotes of the movie beyond what was funny during my viewing in the theater. I'm not upset and I don't believe it's blaspheme or anything like that... I just don't think it's hilarious and worth repeating over and over again.

What I do think is funny, is God's sense of humor. He is able to use things like the ridiculous movie aforementioned to get people like me to think more about the life of Jesus.

My husband and I were just talking last night about Jesus/God and how there is a good reason for everything that happens here on this borrowed Earth. We agreed that even the most atrocious crimes, the most hideous circumstances, and the worst luck, are all a part of God's greater plan.

And, when I went to bed last night, I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving for all those times when God has tried to tell me or show me something and I just didn't catch on. I thanked him for not making me wholly responsible for KNOWING what is going on in the world, WHY bad things happen, and HOW I am supposed to respond to them.

When we had circle time with the daycare kiddos this morning, we once again counted how many days there are until the day we celebrate Jesus' birthday - and one of the (older) kiddos referred to Jesus as "baby Jesus."

And, that's when I started thinking again about Ricky Bobby and more about Jesus' life as a baby.

And, I started churning around in my head what Jesus' infant and toddler years might have been like. I believe that he cried when he teethed. Jesus can feel pain, after all. I believe that he cried when he needed something. For, even Jesus needs to be able to communicate with his parental figures. I also believe that he may have had separation anxiety as a baby. I believe he has social anxiety even now, today, even if it's a whole different kind of separation.

Let me stop a moment and qualify this post by stating what is probably the obvious: I am not fully educated in the life of Christ. I read my bible and pay attention to sermons, and desire to know more about my Creator and his Son, but I am the first to admit that I don't know enough facts about the life and times of Christ. I am only blogging today about my thoughts - sharing some things that have gone through my head just this morning.

But, it's hard for me to believe that Jesus, perhaps, went through the "testing boundaries" phase. I don't know that he ever bit a peer to get his way. I doubt that he ever screamed at his parents in anger... or that he threw things out of frustration towards his own family.

But, isn't that an interesting thing to contemplate? What would Jesus be like as a toddler. I look at the kids who are making joyful noises in the playroom today, and I can see little bits of Jesus in them. Their joy is contagious. Their play is always innocent (and by that I mean that they don't mean any malice, harm, or annoyance to result from their play). Their hearts and minds are open to give and receive love. They help each other and play together in a way that (usually) is so peaceful.

And of course, there are times when I miss the innocent purity in the children I care for. When one of them bites or hits or runs the other way just to push my buttons. When one screams or yells out of anger.

I must not forget to mention that I often lose my own purity and goodness, as I'm reacting to stressful situations with the kiddos and acting selfishly.

But, today, I am able to address the children with more patience. More love. More wonder... as I imagine that Jesus was once their size. And it feels good to know that God is in control. Even when things aren't going as planned. Even when someone is frustrated with someone else. Even when tensions are high. Something as simple as Talladega Nights can help me recenter myself. That's pretty amazing.

Experience of a Lifetime

I went to see the New Kids on the Block in concert last night! There, I said it. That was going to be the punchline - the conclusion to this big long post I had in mind about living a full life and getting in touch with who I really am, and letting my guard down. But, I couldn't resist sharing the news, that yes! The NKOTB are back, baby.

The pictures don't do justice - but here they are. We actually got pretty good seats! We paid for the cheap seats up in the nosebleeds section - and since it wasn't sold out (heh, go figure?!?) they were giving away seats in the bottom section. We were 20 rows up from the floor, towards the back corner. And they had a small stage set center floor right in front of us for a couple of their songs. It rocked.

To be honest, I wanted to go to the concert for nostalgia sake. I wanted to feel like a kid again, and reminisce. I wasn't expecting to be blown away by their talent.

Go ahead, make fun of me! I'm ready for all your stabs... I've heard them all. For your information, YES - they can still sing... even after puberty hit they can still sing! It's been 20 years since their first hit, and they still got the moves and the voices and the ability to entertain like no other. I was a big fan in 6th-7th grade, and now - 20 years later, I'm still a fan! I don't care if that makes me dorky by golly... so go ahead - have your laughs!

Also? I went with a cool person. I invited her with hopes that I would be able to get to know her better and possibly learn from her. Dave Ramsey says that if you want to change yourself, it's smart to start by surrounding yourself with people you admire. He says that if you want to be wealthy, then seek out some rich folks and spend some time with them, and take notes. If you want to be thrifty, find someone who succeeds at couponing or bargain shopping, and go to the store with them. If you want to be in shape, find someone who is fit that could be a source of motivation and inspiration for you.

Me? Well, I want to be all those things. But, I was also in the mood for further developing my spiritual self. I want to be more confident in my faith. I want to experience life with a faithful lens, allowing each mountain I climb and each valley I saunter to be have meaning in my life. I sought out a person who is strong in her faith, a person who - despite the trials she has faced - finds comfort and joy daily. I want to be in touch with my true spirit, embracing the ME that God created - not the ME that avoids relationships and conviction. I see these virtues in the person who came to the concert with me.

And, it was a perfect evening. My friend and I enjoyed all the obvious thrills of the evening... eating out together at the Power and Light District, taking in the large venue, enjoying the people watching, dancing to the music. But, we also enjoyed eachother's company on a deeper level, connecting with each conversation we carried in a way that doesn't normally come so easily for me. We talked non-stop... about politics, faith, books, music, our parents, our children, our spouses, and everything in between. And all of our conversations tainted with an appreciation for our Maker.

It was a perfect evening, indeed.

I didn't come home with any concert tshirts or large buttons. I don't have their latest CD (yet!) and I didn't know every single one of the songs they performed. But, it was a night filled with appreciation on so many levels.

And? I'm pretty sure Jon Knight found me and was singing just to me all night long!