Be honest with your kids

Here's a shocker: kids are just little people.  They need some help with some "big" things (like lifting that gallon of milk up and learning to pour it into a bowl), and they need some guidance with some "tricky" things (like what to do when someone unjustly takes something away).  But other than that, they're just (little) people like you and me.

Little-little kids needs to learn some basic skills - like how to get the spoon to the mouth and how to "hold it" when nature calls.  Babies need all kinds of help - they can't communicate well or move easily, and most of the time even THEY don't know what they need or want.

But, it's the big kids that I'm writing about today - the ones that are big enough to ask tough questions.

Like my five year old who surprised me at the lunch table today when she asked me why there are birds. She pointed out that the chickens lay the eggs, the cows give the milk, but the birds - they just eat worms. So, why do we even have worms? And birds? And other animals that don't do much for us.  Those were easy questions to field - as I simply reminded her how awesome God is and that he made all the creatures for us to take care of and enjoy. We talked a little bit about how it's nice to hear the birds sing in the Spring and Julia remembered how eager she is to find worms that she can hold and take care of.  (Okay, I think it's gross too - but she's such a caretaker and it doesn't gross her out, so whatever.)

And then our conversation quickly turned into the birds and the bees. Ahem, and the chickens.
"I don't know how the chickens even give us eggs?" Julia says...   she had proposed a few answers: Maybe the chickens use their feathers to make the eggs? Maybe the eggs grow from the germs that are in the nests? Maybe they get the eggs from somewhere else and bring them to the nest?

I told Julia that the chickens LAY the eggs and that opened up a whole new can of worms, so to speak.  How do they lay the eggs? Well, the eggs come out of the chicken's body when the eggs are ready to.  Where do the eggs come out? Like, out of their feathers?  No - the eggs come out of a hole in the chicken.

....

The wheels are spinning and she looks grossed out. But, I can't help but continue with my good habit of truth telling...   I let Julia know that it's kind of like when the chickens poop - the poo comes out of a hole. Except the eggs don't come out of the poop hole, they come out of a different hole in the chicken.  Again, Julia presumes the eggs come out of the chicken's mouth. Nope - there's a whole 'nother special hole just for laying eggs, I tell her.
Dear reader - are you grossed out yet?  I was - and we were having this conversation over lunch.

My point in writing this post is to encourage parents to just tell the truth. The earlier on you share knowledge and truth with your children, the easier it will be for them as they mature and begin to figure things out on their own. Especially puberty and such.

My conversation with Julia did not end there. In fact, we talked about how adult women have eggs, too. I figured, now's as good a time as anytime.  She went on to presume that what I meant is that adult women cook eggs - that young girls cannot cook yet, one must be "big enough" to cook - like, on the stove. And she confirmed this line of thought with her questions about baby chicks being able to lay eggs. "So - baby chicks can't lay eggs until they grow up and become momma chickens, right?  That's kind of like people! Babies and kids don't have eggs until the girls grow up and become women - then, they're big enough to buy and cook eggs."  Says Julia, with an admirable amount of certain understanding.  Clearly, she's only five. No need to explain why mommy locks the door to the bathroom sometimes.

I love these kinds of conversations.

Yes, I advocate talking to your kids and sharing your knowledge of the great big world with them. Yes, I even recommend you start talking about body functions, the marvels of the animal kingdom, the human body, etc. with your kids even when they're very young.

But, I also recommend staying age appropriate.  How do you do that?

Don't push the conversation. Let your child ask questions or raise awareness with you.  There was no reason for me to correct Julia's egg/womanhood/cooking assumptions. She's right - kids can't cook eggs (by themselves), but moms can.  Baby chicks don't lay eggs, momma chickens (hens) do.  But, there's no reason for me to draw it out and harp on what I was originally suggesting to her - which was that grown women have eggs inside.  That just wasn't necessary.

My hope is that these kinds of conversations are happening with all the children I know, and their parents.  I hope that kids are getting answers (instead of "oh you'll understand that when you're older..." which is what I got when I was little).

Being honest and open to conversation with your child is important and life presents so many opportunities for you to share the world with your kiddo...   You should feel comfortable talking about death, marriage, anatomy, cancer, divorce, poop, politics, religion, and anything else and everything else with your children. And I'm telling ya - the earlier you start, the easier it will be when these things are very important to know about.

Thanks for listening. :) I'm off to snuggle with my 5 year old, before she turns 15. Because after today?  Seriously feels like her 15th birthday is tomorrow.







And on a completely unrelated, irrelevant, not important note - has anybody else out there noticed that SILLY PUTTY has changed? It's not cool anymore. It's all foamy-like now. They've ruined it!