Demons be gone

I have this problem in my life that isn't so easy to explain in a blog post. But, suffice it to say that it has something to do with a certain relationship I have (or don't have) with someone who is supposed to be... oh, I dunno, like, MOTHERly to me.

And, well - every once in a while, this demon comes into my heart and makes me invent superficial solutions to all these problems I have.

If only I'd..... (fill in the blank)... is often how these evil dreams begin. And for some reason, every once in a while, I really start to believe in these solutions. And I start thinking that maybe I am the problem and that I need to think outside the box more. That maybe I should be more creative in my efforts to FIX everything. Maybe if only I'd..... (you get the idea)... well, then maybe this broken relationship would begin to mend itself.

But, I know better. I know this isn't so. I know that the problem is not ME. The storm in my heart is isolated and only gets worse when I let it. I know how to keep the wall cloud at bay. Why invite the funnel cloud when the hail and thunder is damaging enough.

This isn't supposed to be a dreary post. Instead, it's a post of celebration. Finally, after years of therapy (okay, blogging), I can hear the alarms go off. I can see the danger ahead. I can make my choice: Do I drive into it with hope and ideas and a bit of expectation, or do I turn away with grace and faith and forgiveness for what it hasn't even yet done?

Christ shall keep me centered. He is faithful beyond understanding.