My favorite part

Every night when Julia goes to bed, she likes me to tuck her in first. We always start by telling each other what our favorite part of the day was. Often, Julia has more than one favorite part. After we talk about our faves, we say a prayer which includes a thank-you for the blessings of our day and a request for more "favorite parts" to come the next day.

My favorite part of the day usually has something to do with getting to know other people. This is weird for me. This is new to me. I'm liking this. It's humbling and scary, yet rich and meaningful. But, I've been honest with Julia every time... when I have the chance to connect with someone - on more than just a "hello!" on someone's facebook wall - it truly has been my favorite part of the day.

I've made more connections with people this summer than I have made with people throughout my entire adult life. Okay, that might be only half true, because many of the connections I'm considering were there already - but they've been just solidified, deepened, made important only more recently.

As always, my geeky nature is to hide behind my computer screen and manage my relationships over the internet. I'm great with words... if they're in writing. I'm able to be open and honest with someone ...if it's in writing. I can express many of my complex emotions, concerns, joys, and complications ...if it's in writing. In person, verbally? I'm a complete dork. I acknowledge that and embrace that and I've accepted that as a part of who I am.

But, this summer - I've stepped up my effort to get to know the people that I want to be around. Without question, my attendance at church and my involvement in Relay for Life have been helpful. But, I've decided to take it upon myself to crawl out of my comfortable little shell and start taking some risks. And the payoff? Has been astronomical.

I've learned three important things this summer:

1. One must take risks to reap rewards.
2. Everybody is a little bit dorky sometimes -it's not just me.
3. If I let God take control over my social life, and if I just quit worrying so much about myself - about how I appear to others, about how I sound when I'm talking, about how my house looks or how messy my car is when I give someone a ride... if I just let God do the work... then being sociable is a lot less stressful. In fact, it's joyous.

We hosted a bbq party this past weekend, and invited some friends that are important to us. We were so humbled and thankful for the turnout. We rekindled some missed friendships and strengthened some new friendships and are energized and inspired to continue to meet people we love and love the people we meet.

My favorite part of this summer has been making new friends, keeping old friends, and learning more about myself in the process. God is amazing - I need to just "let go" more often.

Birthday, Father's Day, Anniversary, Oh My!

June is always crazy. ALWAYS.

Usually it's Rich's birthday that kicks it all off on the 15th. Then, my dad and step-mom's wedding anniversary (which I always forget about until it's too late), then Father's Day, then our Anniversary. Closely following in the first two weeks of July we have Rich's mom, sister, and Aunt's birthdays. Plus, the fourth of July which (in years past) has included a cookout at our house.

I get dizzy just thinking about June!

But, it's been a fun one so far - that's for sure!

I didn't get much for Rich for his birthday. He's very hard to shop for because he usually gets what he wants when he wants it. That is to say, he usually doesn't want much - but when he finds something - some one thing - that he wants? He'll just go get it. So this year, I made him *not* get the wii game that he wanted so badly. I insisted that I get that for his birthday present, and then I made him wait until his birthday before he could actually have it. Bwahaha, I'm so mean. He liked it and it was a nice gift and all - but the guy is just so hard to surprise, so hard to shop for thoughtfully ya know?

He also hinted (or so I thought it was a hint) that he wanted a new watch. I figured that'd be a nice gift from the girls for Father's Day. So again - I told him forget about the watch, just let us get it for you for father's day. But then - no.... it had to be just the right watch. And of course? He found a great deal on the very one he wanted at Amazon. So, he got his watch - but when it came in the mail? I snatched it and hid it and vowed to keep it from him until Father's Day. Bwahahaha - seriously - at least he's getting what he wanted, so what if he had to pick it out himself? and pay for it himself? and have it sent to our house himself? If he wants it so bad, he can wait until a holiday to get it.

Yes, I'm an evil nazi wife that way. The guy is hard to shop for. I have to steal his things and give them back to him at the right time so that I feel like I'm thoughtfully gift-giving. Nice, right?

There's only been a few things I've wanted recently. I followed husby's lead and just got myself one of them - a new patio umbrella. We needed it anyway and it's going to be very nice to have for our big June bbq party in a week from now. I figured, if I want it? I should totally just buy it. After all - that's what he does.



The other night, I went downstairs to get something and saw a big box wrapped in pretty paper. Sheepishly, I asked Rich what it was - knowing full well it was a blender. And it was to be mine. Because I wanted it and because our anniversary was coming in just a couple of days. And I have been shopping for a good deal on a glass jar blender. And this box in his office? That was wrapped in gold/silver wrapping? All but had BLENDER written all over it.
So he gave it to me that night and said "Happy Anniversary."

I was very happy. I wanted it. I got it. I loved it. I immediately opened it and started reading the direction book thingy to find some new/different recipes. Then, I tossed it in the dishwasher and we went about our evening. I was happy - I was not expecting a gift at all since WE'D JUST BOUGHT A NEW GRILL FOR EACH OTHER FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY. I was thankful that I'd stopped at Target the other day to pick up a cheap/stupid gift for him. The guy is very hard to shop for (did I mention that yet?) so at least this cheap/stupid gift would be something I could give him on our Anniversary... it wasn't as good as my new glass jar blender, but it was something. After all, anything small should be a nice surprise and a token of thoughtfulness since we didn't plan to get each other anniversary gifts at all. Well, except for the NEW BBQ GRILL WE'D GOTTEN EACH OTHER AS AN ANNIVERSARY GIFT.

For Father's Day, we had the family over for smoked turkey. Rich wanted to try out the new charcoal BBQ GRILL THAT WE'D GOTTEN EACHOTHER AS AN ANNIVERSARY GIFT. I was more than happy to let him take the reins on feeding the whole family - and smoked turkey? That is a pathway right to my heart. YUM. The smoked turkey was awesome - the whole family raved about it. I was very impressed with my honey's skills - he was in the kitchen all morning with fresh lemons, garlic, onions and lots of spices. He was rinsing the bird and preparing the grill and he smoked that baby to perfection. Did I mention that it was succulent? Delish!! The BBQ GRILL THAT WAS OUR ANNIVERSARY GIFT to each other was a big hit.




After dinner, I spent the evening chatting it up with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law while the boys were playing the wii down in the living room. I told them about my new blender and how excited I was about it. And they ooh'd and ahh'd about it and it was fun. And then the company left, and I cleaned up after them, and went for a little bike ride to counteract the oversized servings of turkey and ice cream sundaes that I ate... and then I came home and poured myself a glass of wine and told hubby to join me on the deck for chit chat.

And he said no way, it was too hot out there, and I said whatever, and I went on the deck with my glass of wine and he followed close behind and then

And then?

I saw it! It was beautiful!!!



In the yard, in my very own backyard, was a self-standing hammock! All assembled and ready for my company. He surprised me and got the hammock a few weeks ago (despite the fact that we weren't supposed to exchange gifts since we got each other the NEW BBQ GRILL FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY.

But, there it was. And it was mine. It is mine. People like me don't own hammocks, ya know. We just dream about having one. But, I have one. Cuz my husby knew I wanted one and he shopped around for one and got one and had it delivered to his parents house so I wouldn't know about it and then his dad brought it over to our house while we were having our family bbq dinner and he assembled it in MY backyard while I was on my bikeride and it was there, for me!

Ahhh - my husby is the best y'all. Not just because of the hammock or the blender or the succulent turkey or all of that. But, because he loves me and he likes to surprise me and he pays attention to me, and he runs with me and he's funny and charming and quite dashing if I might say so myself. And we've been married for eight fabulous years. And I'm the luckiest girl in the world. And I'm gonna relish in my lucky'ness on my new hammock tonight after the sun goes down. And I hope my hubby is right next to me on that thing. Seriously. Cuz I need help getting in and out of it.

I guess I need a plan now. There are still 11 hours left of our Anniversary. I should plan some kind of great get-a-way. Find a babysitter. Plan a picnic or dinner and a movie or something. The pressure is on. I must find something special to do with my husby on this day. Not just because he surprised me with a hammock, but because he's mine of eight years now. And he made me feel really special and loved by surprising me so. And, heck - eight years? That's something, ya know. That's really something!

Haiku Party

Relay for Life soon
Soliciting Donations
Can't you spare a buck?

Lawn is freshly mowed
Weeds still overtake garden
No motivation

Glass of Reisling now
Enjoy 10 o'clock bedtime
Sleeping through the storms

Saturdays my fave
Not working for the weekend
Loving ALL the days

Julia rides bike
Rebecca uses potty
When did they grow up?

Where did today go
Bedtime creeps during blogging
Goodnight now, my friends

Demons be gone

I have this problem in my life that isn't so easy to explain in a blog post. But, suffice it to say that it has something to do with a certain relationship I have (or don't have) with someone who is supposed to be... oh, I dunno, like, MOTHERly to me.

And, well - every once in a while, this demon comes into my heart and makes me invent superficial solutions to all these problems I have.

If only I'd..... (fill in the blank)... is often how these evil dreams begin. And for some reason, every once in a while, I really start to believe in these solutions. And I start thinking that maybe I am the problem and that I need to think outside the box more. That maybe I should be more creative in my efforts to FIX everything. Maybe if only I'd..... (you get the idea)... well, then maybe this broken relationship would begin to mend itself.

But, I know better. I know this isn't so. I know that the problem is not ME. The storm in my heart is isolated and only gets worse when I let it. I know how to keep the wall cloud at bay. Why invite the funnel cloud when the hail and thunder is damaging enough.

This isn't supposed to be a dreary post. Instead, it's a post of celebration. Finally, after years of therapy (okay, blogging), I can hear the alarms go off. I can see the danger ahead. I can make my choice: Do I drive into it with hope and ideas and a bit of expectation, or do I turn away with grace and faith and forgiveness for what it hasn't even yet done?

Christ shall keep me centered. He is faithful beyond understanding.

PSA

Since I've been blogging about Julia quite a bit lately, I thought I'd give Rebecca the spotlight for a minute.
Ten things I love about my Beccs:

1. She gives cute kisses. When she wants to share the love, she'll point to the spot she's going for and then lay a big smackaroo there. Luckily, it's mostly on the cheeks and forehead.
2. She is a good listener. Yes, she employs selective listening on a daily basis, but at least she listens!
3. She is potty training herself. DID YOU HEAR THAT ONE? She's in big girl panties now, with a few accidents here and there but hey- we all gotta learn somehow right?
4. She is easily bribed. Like if we're at the grocery store and she wants to play the in-the-cart, out-of-the-cart, in-the-cart, out-of-the-cart game, I can bribe her with crackers or promise to sing songs if she'll just glue her butt down.
5. She's growing up. Finally *FINALLY* we can take her to the nursery or to the "kids care" thing at the gym, and she'll go play with the kids without having a knock-down-throw-down kind of fit. (Yes, it'd be fun if she could stay little forever, but that's a stupid thing to wish since it's not real possible and stuff.)
6. She calls donuts "no-nuts." That never gets old.
7. She is content watching her sister play on the wii, play on the computer, play with a real cell phone. She's not into the grabby give-me-mine-i-want-a-turn thing (yet).
   
8. She laughs when she farts.
9. She's almost out of diapers. (It was worth repeating, okay?)
10. She's cute and she's mine all mine all mine!
    

Know-it-all

We were playing outside, each kiddo was doing his own thing. Julia and I were talking about sticks.

Julia - "You can't touch the red sticks, mom. You can't. I really, seriously mean it, for reals."
Me - "Why's that, honey?"
Julia - "Because Braxton (her 7 year old cousin) said they're very sharp!"
Me - (admittedly a little annoyed that everything Julia knows is cuz "Braxton said..." or "Majesta said...") "You know Julia? Braxton doesn't know everything.
Julia - "Yes he does."
Me - "Does he, now?"
Julia - "Yes, because Braxtons like in second grade or first grade or something."
-blink-
-blink-
-blink-
Julia - "There's only one thing that Braxton does not know."
Me - "Oh? What's that?"
Julia - "Well... there's this tiny little bubbly swamp at grandma's house, and Braxton said that's where poop and pee live."
-blink-
Julia - "Well, he's WRONG. So, that's the one thing Braxton doesn't know. But, mom - he knows everything else so just don't touch the red sticks."



Whose the know-it-all here?

I want I want I want

Julia's 4.

Right now, just about every sentence she speaks starts with "I wish..." or "I want..." When we respond, her retort back to us is always "I know!! I'm just saying that I wish/want..."

"I know!"
Yep, she's 4 and she already knows everything. What's it going to be like when she's 14?

Today when we were at my favorite place in the whole world (not), Walmart, Julia was going on and on about what she wants and wishes she could have.

Finally, it dawned on me... She just needed alternative! She was stuck in a rut, had developed a bad habit, and didn't know how to get out of it despite husby and I telling her repeatedly "Stop with the 'I wants!'"

So, I kindly (ahem) suggested that her next sentence to me start with "I'm happy that....." I kindly (ahem) told her not to talk to me at all again tonight unless what she was going to say started with "I'm happy that....."

And the stuff that came out of her thoughts? It was full of pure love!

See, I'd expected her to be all consumed in her desires and wants and "needs" that I thought for sure she'd say something like "I'm happy that someday maybe i can have that (toy/shirt/thing)."

Sure, the first few things she said started with "I want..." but I reminded her subtly (by stomping my foot like a 2 year old and shaking my head violently) that I'm not gonna listen to her because her sentence didn't begin correctly.... I had to remind her a few (like a few dozen times) that I wanted her to say something that begins with "I'm happy that..."

But, she caught on soon enough. And she was saying things like:

• I'm happy that I have a home.
• I'm happy that we have clothes.
• I'm happy that we have food to eat.
• I'm happy that we have shoes.
• I'm happy that we are at Walmart and have money to buy some things.
• I'm happy because I have you.
  

Seriously! She said that! By her own will, too! Those are the things on my little girls heart, when I really dig past all the utterances and thoughts that come out of her mouth before she really gets thinking.

I'm just so happy that the suggestion worked, and I hope we remember to stick with it. It's good practice for me and husby, too. It's good practice for anybody, really. Remember what you have, be thankful for what you have, and enjoy the freedoms that come with being so blessed. I love being a mom. I learn so much every single day. <3

Open Letters

Dear Singulair, Allegra, and Pataday,

You rock for resetting my sinuses. I woke up with both eyes opening this morning. I can breathe, I can see, and I'm not incessantly rubbing my eyes for pleasure anymore. Thanks!

In appreciation,
Maggs


_________

Dear Kleenex,

Thanks for always being there for me. I've invested appropriately in you. The dozen or so boxes we have around the house always come in handy. Thanks for always being there to catch my snot and the snot of all the kiddos I care for on a daily basis. Keep up the good work!

With Love,
Maggie

________

Dear _____ & _____,

I'm so sorry that you miscarried. I've been there - but I know that doesn't make it any easier for you to handle. The pain never goes away, but it does get much easier with time. Of course, you already know this - since it's not your first. But, I want to publicly extend my love and sympathy to you. The news has affected me deeply. Christ will prevail.

Much sincere love,
Maggie

________

Dear Daisy Dog,

You pulled through! You are quite a fighter. I'm so so soooo glad that you are eating twice a day again and I'm even more gladder that you're keeping it all down/in! You've been playful, though your playtime is limited to about 5 minutes, and you moan and grown, stretch and sleep for hours afterward. But, I'm happy to have you back. ...Even if it is costing us an arm & leg to buy your new special food. Thanks for hanging around, Daise! Love ya!

The Queen,
Maggie

_________

Hey Cancer,
I'm still here, boxing gloves on. You still suck. I'm going to volunteer at a Relay for Life event in another city this weekend, cuz I hate you so much. Sucks to see ya there. Rawr.

With Misery,
Maggie

________

Dear Facebook,

You are so nice to me. You provide peers when I need them most - when I'm drowning in toddler tawk, jibberish that only makes sense to the one speaking it. When there's no one here to conversate with but myself. When I finally get a break in my work day and find myself craving adult interaction. When it's almost bedtime and the family is chilling in the living room and I have you there on my lap, with Bejeweled open. Thanks for being my companion. (Gawd, this is so pathetic. I really should get out more often.)

Much admiration,
Maggs

__________

Dear Bejeweled game via Facebook,
I love you dearly but you've taken up way too much time from my life. I kinda sorta wish you'd go away. But then, what would I do with my down time?

Love ya!
Maggs

_________

Dear Dad,

I'm still working on my business plan. I'm not tackling it with high speeds by any means, but it's still a part of my every day. Keep encouraging me. Keep reminding me that I'm capable. Thanks, dad. You're awesome!

Your kid,
Me

_________

Dear June,
You are so packed with events and things. Let's just have a quick looksee: DeSoto relay this weekend, dance recital rehearsals on tuesday and thursday of next week, dance recital (FINALLY) a week from this Saturday, Rich's birthday, Father's day, Our Wedding Anniversary, and all that kinda stuff. There's no sitting down in June, is there? I'm loving the weather - not too hot, warm enough to play outside all day long. Thanks, June. Here's to the 4th of July - our first non-busy weekend.

Cheers!
Maggie

_________

Dear Julia,

Your first dance recital is a week from this Saturday. Your silly dance school has put a lot of unnecessary pressure on you little girls.... extra recitals at wacky times (hello! Someone needs to tell these people that preschoolers work well when they have a PREDICTABLE ROUTINE), dress rehearsal two weeks out from the big recital, talk and anxiety over make-up, etc. I am sorry that you're going through the motions of a professional 20-something-year-old dancer at your tender age of 4 years; but I'm so glad that you're flexible and easy-going enough that you don't really care. It's bothering me more than it's bothering you - that rules. I still can't believe they require you to wear make-up at the recital (bright red lipstick? on my four year old? wtf?)... but you're pretty excited. It should be fun and super cute. But next year? We're totally not going back. Just wanted to give you that heads up.

Thanks for always making mommy so proud. I love you more than that! *mwah*

Love lots,
Mommy

__________

Dear Rebecca,

You're awesome. Do I need to say more? Seriously. You rock, kid!

Love ya!
Momma

_________

Dear Blogger,

Thanks for listening. Thanks for letting me get some pent up anxiety out from time to time. I share all my secrets with you - well, okay, some of them anyway. I love my freedom to write... Blogging really is cheaper than therapy. I owe ya!

Love,
Maggs

________

Eye Allergies, take 2

On June 2, 2008, I wrote this post.

Funny - one year later, I'm in the same boat again! I haven't called for an appointment, yet. But, I will and I'm fully expecting the run around, the long, unnecessary doctor's appointment, and then the script.

Oh the joys of summer!

*mental note: do not rub eyes after having sunscreen on hands*